Mixed Emotions and Story of Change in a Foreign Country

Most of my friends, who have known me from India, believe I have changed a lot. Ofcourse they say its all for the better...I feel this change myself noticeably evident in my thoughts and actions...The once shy, quiet and traditional girl now reflects an aura of confidence and independence....This must have been a smooth transition process because I hardly realized this happening....

When I first came to USA in August 2004, I had hardly gone to the bank about couple of times in my life (the last one being to get the travellers cheque's since they require your presence and signature to issue those cheques), had never written a cheque, had never used a credit card or an ATM, had never filled petrol in my activa or kinetic, had never driven car in the traffic areas like the city, had never made my own bed, had never washed my clothes or cleaned my utensils, had never made any buying decision alone, had never been confused on what to cook etc.. and the list goes on and on....I remember when my uncle first took me to a bank, I asked them how to write a check..My uncle and aunt showed me to how to use the ATM, to withdrawn the cash or deposit the cheque(Depositing a cheque is still something I prefer doing at the bank in front of a live person)...When my uncle took me to the shopping mall to buy comforter set for my bed in my new apt, I asked him which one should I buy and there he taught me an invaluable lesson for life. He teached me, now that I was in a country, where everyone is independent, I should be making my own decisions...and thats how the process of own decision making started in my life...Still, sometimes I would call up my parents or my friends and ask them what they think about the things I buy...I remember buying my first own 60$ camera, not a branded one, and I had emailed my old friend in india back and forth, just to make sure I was making the right decision.....so the change was not all of a sudden atleast I would think....But then the number of decisions to make kept on increasing from buying an ipod to driving to canada to visit an old friend and see niagra falls, to present at a SWE conference in Anaheim california, to work as a intern, to take up research, to visit india, to graduate, to look for a job, to deal with customers, to live in a foreign country called slovenia (whose name I had never heard before)for 3 months, to travel in Europe, to rent an apartment and the time available to make these decisions kept on decreasing...forcing me to making my own life decisions fast...taking full responsibility of my actions...

I don't know when I changed from the Bhumika, who thought its ok for a girl to live at home and not work, to bhumika who believes every individual is responsible for their own self and can make their own decisions on how they choose to live their life. Gender should have no influence on whether you want to work or cook!! If I was still living in India, I would have considered divorce is wrong, that should never happen, being in the independent land, my views have changed to, you live once, if both of you are not happy in the life you are living, it is better to separate and live a happy life rather than live under the same roof in pain for the sake of others( the society), who are not even your family and have no right to interfere in what you do is your personal matter. These views might be considered too modern and liberal by the still conservative, male generation of my birth land..

I wish friends and families in my home country, India, become more respectful of girls and encourage them to acheieve their dreams...The culture of a country is never lost by individuals voicing their opinions....Infact, the spirit of culture becomes more strong when you have the liberty to decide what is right and what is wrong for self.....